One of the most frustrating things about living with severe anxiety is the realization that your own brain is completely ignoring you.
When my clients describe a panic attack, they usually mention the internal monologue that accompanies it. They are sitting in a perfectly safe room, their heart is hammering, their chest is tight, and their inner voice is desperately trying to apply logic to the situation. They say things like, “I am just at the grocery store. There is no bear chasing me. I have done this a hundred times. I need to calm down.”
But the body does not calm down. In fact, trying to force logic onto a panic attack usually just makes you feel worse, because now you are panicking and you feel like a failure for not being able to control it.
To understand why this happens, you have to understand a tiny piece of neurobiology. Your brain essentially operates in two main sections when it comes to stress. You have the prefrontal cortex, which handles logic, reasoning, and language. Then you have the amygdala, which is your primitive alarm system.
When your amygdala senses danger (even if that danger is just a stressful email or a crowded room), it hits the alarm. It dumps adrenaline into your bloodstream and prepares you to run for your life. When this happens, your prefrontal cortex—the logical, language-based part of your brain—effectively goes offline.
Trying to rationalize your way out of a panic attack is like trying to give verbal instructions to a smoke detector. The alarm system does not speak English. It only speaks in physical sensations.
If you want to stop a panic attack, you have to stop talking to yourself and start talking to your body. You have to use somatic (physical) tools to manually override the nervous system.
The fastest way to do this is by changing your body temperature. We have something called the mammalian dive reflex. When cold water hits your face, your heart rate automatically slows down to conserve oxygen. It is a biological reset button. If you are panicking, go to the bathroom, turn on the coldest water possible, and splash it on your face. Or grab an ice cube from the freezer and hold it tightly in your bare hand until it melts. The intense physical sensation forces your brain to focus on the cold rather than the perceived threat.
If you are in public and cannot use ice, use physical tension. Clench your fists as tight as you possibly can for five seconds, and then release them. Push your feet incredibly hard into the floorboards.
Stop trying to think positive thoughts when your body thinks it is dying. Acknowledge that the alarm is ringing, accept that your logical brain is temporarily offline, and use your physical body to prove to your nervous system that you are safe.